The Hobbit: An Unexpected Parody
“SHOTS. SHOTS. SHOTS. SHOTS. SHOTS. SHOTS.”
I FUCKING LOVE THE HILLYWOOD SHOW SO MUCH IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED ALL THEIR STUFF JUST DO IT
I LAUGHED SO HARD I CRIED
MARK: Every day, over and over..
MISHA: “Where’s Misha? In his trailer.”
MARK: If the trailer’s a rockin’, don’t come knockin’!
MISHA: Um, well, as it turns out I went to a high school that has an annual fitness test and they’d been administering it for 100 years, there were 1400 students at the school or 1200 students, and I was the most flexible boy on the fitness test of anyone who had ever attended in 100 years. So, yes, I am flexible. And when I was shooting Nip/Tuck and, uh, I had my package in my face there, I was like, “Wow, I actually could do - I think I…” All I’m saying is if I actually had to.
[Jim covers face with hat]
MARK: We’ve lost Jim! We’ve lost him.
MISHA: If I ever had to. If I had to I could.
MARK: We’ve lost him, he’s gone. He’s not coming back now.
JIM: I didn’t get into the business for this!
MARK: Yes you didddd.
MISHA: So, yeah, there’s a little bit longer story with that. I had a bike accident after I shot Nip/Tuck and it was a pretty bad bicycle accident, and I went into the hospital and they took an x-ray and were like, “Eeeeh, It looks like your back is broken.” And I was like, “Oh! That explains why it hurts so much.” And then they did an MRI to really get in there and they were like, “Oh, no, your back’s not broken, you’re fine - but you have a birth defect where the vertebrae in your spine don’t lock together which means you’re prone to paralysis. Um, if you do anything too… stretch too much or something like that.” So, um! I could literally get stuck in that position. Yeah, so, for me actually, funnily enough, um.
MARK: Auto-eroticism is dangerous for you?
MISHA: Yes. Self-fellatiating could kill me.
MARK: I’m sure that’s just something your mother told them to tell you.
MISHA: “We have got to get him to stop!”
MARK: “You’ll go blind!”
MISHA: “You’ll grow hair on your palms and you’ll be paralyzed.” The doctor actually said, “You’re probably very flexible.” And I was like… was noted my one physical claim to fame and it’s because I have a birth defect, it’s not something to be proud of, so. But anyway, to answer your question, yes, I can suck my dick. [x]
This is a real conversation that happened. What is life.
I’ll just leave this here.
“Get on the train”.
a fan expresses disbelief that jared would fit in the tardis [x]
I added internal monologue to that first one
wow this is my life story in like 30 seconds
holy mother of fuck is that me did i turn into a man and sing this or
is this me omg
im still laughing at this hoflydahdh this is literally me
It took me a moment.
At first I was like, wat
I GET IT NOW OMG
that took way too long to understand